Baby sweater and hat

A baby sweater and hat for a friend.

Car interior improvements

Well, I guess it's a matter of opinion whether it's an improvement.... I am so bored of my car, so I decided to make the inside more pleasant. I bought a new stereo, and crocheted covers (headrests, gear shift) along with putting up some of those cool ball trim (like in the 1970's).

Especially Thankful Today!

Thanksgiving is usually just a day I look forward to because of all the good food. I never really pay much attention to the meaning behind it. But this year, I am acutely aware of it. I am so unbelievably grateful for the way my life has turned out. I am with my soul mate, I have a good job, lots of new family (thanks to my boyfriend being one of 9 children and having 17 nieces and nephews!) - we live in a beautiful house in a great neighborhood.... I could go on and on.

Five years ago, I never thought my life would have worked out so well. I am so grateful. But also worried that it will all be taken away. But that is just my usual "worrywart" mentality and that is for another post :-)

True Love

True love is...

Never getting tired of gazing into their eyes

Missing them while they are away

Feeling their pain and wishing it was your own to spare them

Caring for them while they are sick, not caring if you get sick yourself

Laughing together and being silly

When the touch of their hand gives you a warm secure feeling

When you can't get close enough to them! -

knowing what it truly feels like to want to be one with someone.

There but for the grace...

That old saying "There but for the grace of God go I"... I was thinking of that today when I was driving home from work. I drive through a poor neighborhood, and feel so sorry for the bedraggled people I see out walking on the street, and the neighborhood sidewalks are cracked, houses are in poor condition, etc. etc.

But rather than "the grace of God", I was thinking "There but for the grace of having been lucky enough to be born in a good family that could afford to take care of me, and supported me, and was always there for me, go I"

What happened to the man that I saw today, walking along in mismatched dirty clothes, with dirty stringy hair? What happened to the woman I saw leaning into a car talking to the driver (in a rather suggestive outfit)? Did they not have supportive parents? Were their parents too poor to support them, to raise them to have self-esteem and have the financial backing to be able to send them to college? or at least to be able to give them a little bit of money to go to school?

Or did they all just make bad decisions, get hooked on drugs, etc. to end up where they are today? How are they going to be able to get out of their situations? Do they even want to?

It just bothers me so much. I know I am grateful for my life's circumstances, but I also think why was I so lucky and they weren't?

Too late to have kids?

Today I was looking at my college friend's pictures of her young children. They are adorable and look just like her and her husband. In the comments section, someone asked if they would have more, and the husband said "no, no more we are too old now!".

They are only 41 and 40 years old.

I had never thought much about having kids during my life. I figured it would just happen when it happened. But the problem is, it never did. Now, at almost 45, I am with the person of my dreams... he is my soulmate. I never believed in that concept, until I met him. He is like a mirror of myself, my true other half. The person that has been missing all my life. And I finally found him.

Which all sounds great, and it is. However, the kids "just happening" is no longer an option. Even if I were to have one, there is a huge, and I mean HUGE chance it would have birth defects, mental defects, etc. And there is a huge chance that my eggs are no longer viable anyway. And 45 IS too old to have kids. Being 50 years old with an energetic 5 year old child makes me tired just thinking about it.

My heart hurts about this whole thing. Really hurts. Sometimes I can't even TRY to think about it, because it is so upsetting.

From Absolutely Gorgeous Doilies, by Patricia Kristoffersen.

Pineapples and Webs

I have made two of these, I love them! From Pineapple Parade, by Yalanda Wiese.

Crochet Carnations

Pattern from Maggie's Crochet.

Snowflake

Made with larger size yarn than the pattern called for (pattern by Snowcatcher). Snowcatcher makes AWESOME snowflakes.

Groovy wall art

I made this to hang above my bed. I don't have a headboard, so wanted something cozy and fun. The pattern is Krochet Krystal's, a charity blog that gives out the pattern if you donate a few squares to make charity blankets.

Crochet cupcake

Based on some free patterns I saw on the internet. I just winged it and didn't write down what I did.

Columbia scarf

Pattern by Robin Chachula. I didn't want to order a $30 skein of yarn for the main color so I bought some on ebay that was hand-dyed for only $12.00.

Oversize Sunglasses Case

My mother has a pair of those oversize sunglasses (that fit over your prescription lenses). She had a case but lost it and now can't find another one. So she asked if I would make her one (and her twin sister too). This is what I came up with. All my own pattern too!

Mari the dog

I don't write much on this blog anymore. With my Facebook page, that is pretty much where I am most of the time!

I was looking on this blog and realized I never put up a post about my dog Mari. I got Mari when I saw him on Petfinder.com (just like how I found Treif). I had also seen a lot of other dogs I liked, but Mari's foster mom was the only one that responded right away and with regularity. I took that as a sign he was the dog for me (I tend to think the easier things turn out to be, the more it was meant to be).

So I picked him up in Toledo in November, the weekend before Thanksgiving. And now it is April already, and I can't remember what life was like without him. He is so entertaining. He is still having trouble getting along with my cat Cricket, but it isn't too bad. He also has a problem with peeing on the carpet occasionally. It is few and far between, but I am not good at discovering it until it is almost too late. So I bought a blacklight and regularly check the carpet for any "new" problems.

Is sometimes wonder why someone gave him up. Maybe they couldn't afford him anymore, maybe they didn't want even one accident on their rugs, maybe he ran away... I will never know. But I am glad he is in my life.

Footstool cover

I finally finished it. I had bought the yarn way before xmas of 2009. It was not fun to make, that is why it took so long. The footstool was one of those vinyl blue-colored flexible ones, and I had had it for years and it never did match anything. I just decided one day to dress it up a bit.

Stupid Lupron shots!

It has been awhile since I posted on my blog. Back in late August, my doctor wanted to start giving me monthly Lupron injections, in an effort to "starve" the endometrial tissue and kill it. Since then, I have had a hell of a time. I have had all the side effects (hot flashes, night sweats, irritability, worsening depression, hair loss, weight gain, etc. etc.). Each month I would tell him that I couldn't take it anymore, and he would want me to press on, so I did. Well this month was the last straw. It was my fourth injection, and I've decided enough is enough. The worst part of the whole experience is my inexplicable absent-mindedness, to the point where I don't even remember what I was doing or did. I have made numerous mistakes at work, and have been suffering for it (by having to work overtime and come in on weekends).

At my last visit I tried to tell him the problems I am having, and he was so very condescending towards me. First he accused me of forgetting to take my Aygestin pills (used to counter-act the side effects) and then he said that he has "never heard of" anyone with my problems. So in effect, I must be just imagining everything. I felt like it was the 1950's again.

So that is that. I am taking charge of my treatment. I say four shots are enough, and I am putting my foot down. I will not let any doctor make me feel insignficant and ignorant. He called me today "concerned" that I am discontinuing treatment and I told him how I felt about how he treated me. He said he did not mean to come off that way - well.... he did! He then proceeded to list all his credentials and why he is an "expert" in his field. He's been working with Lupron for over 10 years...blah blah blah. Sounds to me like he's got his hand in Big Pharma's pocket! No wonder he doesn't want me to stop treatment.

Crocheted Hydrangea

This is for a friend of mine's birthday. Her favorite flower is a Hydrangea and her favorite color is blue (I think, lol), but I couldn't find a pattern anywhere so I just made my own. I found a picture of a blue Hydrangea on google.com and just tried to copy it. I might have gone overboard with the bleach (used to whiten the centers of the flower), but I like how it turned out.

Doll bed cushion and blanket

I made this for my niece Kelly. She had gotten a doll bed at a garage sale for a few bucks but it didn't have a cushion, pillows, or blanket. So she gave me the dimensions and asked if I would make her one. I was delighted. It won't be much longer when she won't want anything like this anymore (she is 9 on Tuesday), so it was great!

For the cushions, I had an old pillow case that I cut out the little pillows for, and the bed cushion as well, then used my sewing machine to sew to size. Stuff with poly-fil, sewed up, and then added crocheted cover!

Another pet?

So it is just Cricket and I now. We live in a two-bedroom apartment on the ground floor, that has mostly carpeting. Cricket is doing fine, but I feel like she needs something to do, or someone else around to play with.

So... dog or cat? I have been searching for a few days for a small dog on Petfinder.com. I find myself looking for a dog that looks just like Treif. God, I miss him. I tear up just thinking about him. And not only am I doing that, but I am thinking of other things, like having to leave the dog alone for 9 hours every day, feeling like I need to rush home because of the dog, etc. I would have to take him everywhere with me, like when I go up to Michigan. So maybe having a dog is not such a good idea right now.

So I went back to Petfinder and searched for cats. There are so many! Again, I find myself looking for one that looks like Ladybug, whom I also still miss very much.

How can I choose between so many of them? How can I just take one? A lot of the postings plead for you to take the cats' companion as well. So I would have three cats! That is a lot in an apartment. And then I worry that Cricket would hate the cat, and would start peeing all over the apartment. My parents had a cat that hated the other cats, and started peeing in corners all over the house. Soon they were all doing it! And they were all females too! It wasn't a spraying issue like male cats have. I have seen Cricket pee on towels that have been left on the bathroom floor. Granted, the towel was right next to her litter box, but still... would she start doing it on carpet if she was unhappy?

Sigh, what to do... what to do....