Today I was looking at my college friend's pictures of her young children. They are adorable and look just like her and her husband. In the comments section, someone asked if they would have more, and the husband said "no, no more we are too old now!".
They are only 41 and 40 years old.
I had never thought much about having kids during my life. I figured it would just happen when it happened. But the problem is, it never did. Now, at almost 45, I am with the person of my dreams... he is my soulmate. I never believed in that concept, until I met him. He is like a mirror of myself, my true other half. The person that has been missing all my life. And I finally found him.
Which all sounds great, and it is. However, the kids "just happening" is no longer an option. Even if I were to have one, there is a huge, and I mean HUGE chance it would have birth defects, mental defects, etc. And there is a huge chance that my eggs are no longer viable anyway. And 45 IS too old to have kids. Being 50 years old with an energetic 5 year old child makes me tired just thinking about it.
My heart hurts about this whole thing. Really hurts. Sometimes I can't even TRY to think about it, because it is so upsetting.
2 comments:
(((Pam))) - I can't say I can completely empathize, as it's never been that important to me to have children - but I'm sorry. :-(
Congratulations on finding a soulmate, that's fantastic! Maybe something will work out - I have friends that have adopted or fostered children...
Wishing you much happiness,
Lynette
Having children was never important to me either.. until now. We have discussed adoption, so maybe that would be the way to go.
Thanks Lynette.
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