Am I neurotic?

I was just thinking this morning that I am feeling so overwhelmed in my job and I don't know how much longer I can do it. Then I get an email from the boss that says I might be getting a big raise because of my excellent performance last year. Doesn't he know how much I suck? I make mistakes all the time and leave early at every opportunity (to rush home to my dog). Then another thought comes to me: my job is SWEET! It is never the same day to day, so it's not boring. I have a cool boss who lets me do my job and doesn't micromanage. So what am I complaining about?

Also, I know that I should be getting over the death of my cat, but I still cry and obsess over it often. I miss her so much. Sometimes I can't stand it. I desperately wish that she exists somewhere and is ok. I feel like I just HAVE to know if there is an afterlife or I will just go nuts and will have to be shipped off to an insane asylum. How can I live this life knowing there might not be anything after this life, that we just cease to exist? What is the point of anything then? How do people who have lost their loved ones go on? I don't want to hear from people that she was just a cat - I grieve over her the same as I would a person. A loss is a loss.

So, these are the things that have been going on in my mind lately. I guess the answer is yes, I am neurotic.