Research animals

Today I was upset about seeing some rats being experimented on in the lab I work in. It made me think (although there are other times I think about this stuff too):

Everything, down to the blue-algae in the sea, is full of life, and is also food to some predator. How can I be upset to see what goes on in a laboratory, when I myself eat hamburgers, turkey, chicken, etc. Where do I think they came from? They, too, were slaughtered (and probably not humanely) so that we can eat. I always hoped that all animals had a soul - even though most religions claim only humans do. How could that be? Just because we are more highly developed, we are still animals, just like those rats - what makes us so different? Our intelligence (or so-called intelligence)? How do we know that rats don’t have their own kind of intelligence, or are even self-aware as we are? Or cats? Or dogs? Just because we don’t understand them and how they think, doesn’t mean we can use them at will for whatever purposes we see fit. Or does it? Because we are at the top of the food chain, does that give us a right to take the lives of any kind of animal for our own purposes?

But on the other hand, if someone told me that my husband, my nephews, or ANYONE, was sick and going to die unless they could find a cure (using animal research), I would be for it!

I am such a hypocrite!

And what if NONE of us has a soul? Then why are we here? What is the point of life? Why should we all try to be “good” then?

Going off the meds!

I have decided, after about 7 years, to go off of my antidepressant medication. I initially started medication after getting dumped by my boyfriend. My sister urged me to try it because it had helped her so much. And I have to admit it was like coming out of a fog into the bright sunshine. I became interested in life, I was creative, I lost 20 pounds, etc. But maybe it was only masking the true problems in my life, so I wouldn't have to deal with them.

I was on Zoloft for about 4 years when my insurance decided it wouldn't pay for it anymore. The idiot doctor I was seeing switched me to Effexor cold turkey. She said it was the same as Zoloft, which couldn't be further from the truth. They're not even in the same family! I think I was on Effexor for maybe two weeks before realizing what a terrible mistake that was. I tried to wean off of it with Wellbutrin, then Lexapro (which I took for quite a few months). Eventually I started to feel normal again, but it took months of headaches, body aches, irritability, not feeling well, etc. the list goes on and on... A few months ago I switched back to Zoloft (my new doctor reasoned since I did so well on it in the first place, then I should go back to it). But I have not had the same success. Particularly, low libido is a problem, whereas it wasn't when I was on Zoloft the first time.

Anyway, I am scared of being like this the rest of my life. I don't want to be constantly on medication. I have been in therapy for almost a year now so that is helping. I found a great site, www.crazymeds.org, that talks no-nonsense about how much it sucks to be on meds when you don't need to be. It also talks about how great they are when you NEED to be on them. It also talks about Discontinuation Syndrome, which most doctors don't believe happens, but is in fact a very real occurance, which I am now going through. Even my own Psychiatrist doesn't believe in it. I wonder how much the pharmaceutical companies pay him not to believe?