Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Obsessed with food

I am obsessed with food. It is what I think about when I get up, during the day, and even when I go to bed at night. Obsessed with how many calories it has, what I can eat and what I can't eat (and what I shouldn't eat and what I shouldn't have eaten), and the fact that I am not willing to give it up. I carry an extra 30 pounds on my 5 feet 6 inch frame, and you would think that since I am nearing 40 years old that I would be panicked. Well I am! But I am not panicked enough, I guess, to do something about it. I will occasionally do 20 minutes on my elliptical, but I usually end up going for days without, so it ends up not helping at all.

How does one get motivated to lose weight? I suppose if a doctor told me it was a matter of life or death, only then would I do it. It is so sad that it would have to come to that!

I don't know what it is. Does food release powerful endorphins in my brain? Why won't exercise do that for me (as some people claim it does for them)?

When I deprive myself of delicious-tasting foods like chocolate, pasta, bread, rice, etc. I get so crabby and I feel like I am being punished. Does anyone else out there have that same feeling?

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