In a previous post, I talked about my cat Ladybug and how she kept me up at night wanting to eat all the time. Since then I have spent almost $1000 in vet bills to figure out what is wrong with her. She got test after test, xrays, etc. and everything was always normal. However, she was losing weight (down to 5 lbs from 9 lbs) but still eating constantly.
Today she had an ultrasound and there was a large mass detected in her small intestine. It is almost certainly a cancer (lymphosarcoma). With her age (about 13) I decided not to subject her to surgery, since it would be awfully hard on her, and won't be a cure (most cancer cells from lymphosarcomas circulate into the cat's blood - the whole system is affected). Not to mention it would be another $1000 and then some. So I am treating her with steriods to try to "buy some time".
People who don't have a connection to pets just don't understand how devastating losing one is. And knowing that I will lose her probably within the next year, is going to be very hard to deal with. She is here with me now, and I can't grasp the fact that eventually she will not be here. I always had a problem with that. How can someone be here and then not be here? I am finding it difficult to express what I mean so I will end this post now.
4 comments:
It is hard to say goodbye to members of the family.
And every time I see her sleeping, I wonder "is she dead?" or "is this it?" The waiting and wondering is very difficult.
I am so sorry to hear your news. I can't even begin to express how sad I am for you and your cat. There are not any words to adequately describe what you are now and will go through in the future. For this I am sorry. All I can say is that I truly understand and wish that it was not so. All you can do is give her the best and tell her each and every moment how much you love her by her actions. This I am sure you are already doing.
One that does not truly love animals cannot possibly understand the paralyzing pain that comes with losing them. I wish you the best and hope that Ladybug has the best last months she can. I am soo sorry that you have to play this waiting game. That really is the hardest part. I have played that game many times.
Yes, I know what you mean. Just wait is all I can do. Thanks for your kind thoughts.
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